You ask me "Why?" I ask you "Why not?"

Sex education! It’s a rather taboo topic where we come from. You will get side glances if you dare publicly approach this topic. But let’s stop the game of charades and take a good look at what is happening around us. Babies found in dustbins, rivers, toilets and so on. It’s almost impossible to read the papers without being shaken by yet another horrific story that victimizes the most innocent of our kind. 

Please don’t tell me that you still think that sex education is not necessary. Take a look at the crèches in our cities and tell me you believe that sex education is going to be the culprit that will corrupt young minds and instigate them to indulge it what our culture finds to be downright filthy. Yes I am  talking about “Pre-marital sex!’. If you think our generation is yet to be corrupted think again! 

I am not here to say that pre-marital sex is right. So if you are a conservative person, hear me well. I DO NOT BELIEVE THAT PRE-MARITAL SEX IS RIGHT FOR US MALAYSIANS! Now that I have cleared that please take a second to hear me out, without mentally countering my points in your head before coming to the end of this article.

Let’s use some common logic here. The probability of someone getting pregnant is high in scenarios with unprotected sex. Nevertheless not all unprotected sex leads to pregnancies. So if there are these many “buang bayi” cases how many actually are engaging in pre-marital sex. Dear parents you do the math. 

If well-educated on safe sex and the consequences of getting pregnant (to the baby, them and their family) how many of them would have prevented pregnancies? I know what you are thinking. If we teach them to do it right then they will do it without getting caught. It’s like teaching someone how to cheat in an exam. Yes they pass their papers, and no one will ever know that they cheated. The consequences, they unjustly pass exams but in this scenario we lose newborn babies if we don’t teach. The greatest treasure that is life is losing its value.

The question should no longer be whether to have sex education is schools or not to but what kind of sex education are we going to implement. The horror that spread across your face when you hear sex education can easily be dispelled if you understand that I don’t mean teach them the Kaama Sutra or how to have sex. Teach them what is sex? What do they mean by safe sex? Gross them out with STD’s and the consequences of pregnancy. Tell about the innocent children that are harmed because of the lapse of judgment by their young parents. (Please refrain saying sex is painful; It may harm them psychological even when they are married)Everything put in the proper manner can be less curiosity awakening and more informative. 

Whether we like it or not even the most principled and innocent youngster may face a situation that may lead to a so called “passionate encounter”.  This information may provide useful in deterring them for indulging in the act or even if they do, there may be a possibility that they might actually do it safely. 

If your fear is that you’re absolutely innocent (meaning knows nothing of sex, I don’t mean indulging) and uncorrupted child might become contaminated because of some sluts out there. NEWSFALSH: it takes more than the knowledge of sex to actually indulge in it. So many other factors play a role; guilt, principle, upbringing, values, common sense and so on. So maybe we could increase he emphasis on moral education, as not being a subject where you memorize the exact definition and meaning of every value , but actually make sure the understand and practice as many of them *hint hint*.

Another thing I would like to emphasize is the role of parents, guardians, and older siblings. I obtained most of my sex ed from romance novels given by sisters, media and movies and so on. My friend once said “everyone needs sex darling” the irony is she is a virgin and doesn’t believe in pre-marital sex! So just because we know or we are vocal doesn’t mean we get it on! Have the trust that your child is like that too. Please remind them that you trust them, don’t pamper or give too much of freedom. Curfews and rules are there for a reason, stop giving in to their every whim but at the same time don’t be overbearing. 

Don’t get me wrong but many of these girls who got pregnant and stayed pregnant for almost nine months and then delivered, how is it that their family, teachers and relations missed this? A nine month pregnant girl staring back at you! How did they miss it? Pay attention to what your children are doing and saying. Most school flings are to fill voids created by the lack of attention at home. What they yearn for is you; your time and your attention. To put it simply; its 10.40pm where are your children now?

Just a note: no matter what they teach in school parents are our first teachers. If you want your children to share your values, you have to instill it in them since Day 1. If they do make this mistake, don’t shun and judge; if we learn to be a bit more forgiving maybe they won’t feel so scared that they decide to dump their child. Those who are pro pre-marital sex may say that if we accept this change in our culture then they need not be so scared. NEWSFLASH: I live in a place where it is ok to get pregnant at 16 and trust me if it is okay then their life tends to skip form 16 to 26 overnight. In a time where, from illiteracy we now want everyone to have a degree, this puts them at a massive disadvantage. 

There is a lot to ponder regarding this but getting to the point; If they are not going to be educated about it at home the I am saying YES to SEX EDUCATION but it must be a well drawn syllabus (preferably a one of class not a subject) and those who teach it must know what to emphasize on and plan their presentation keeping in mind it’s not a conversation about sex with your buddies and not to put their personal ideologies in their heads.  Pre-marital sex after a certain age tends to be a personal choice but for those in school I don’t believe it’s a choice they should have to decide on just yet.