You ask me "Why?" I ask you "Why not?"

Sex education! It’s a rather taboo topic where we come from. You will get side glances if you dare publicly approach this topic. But let’s stop the game of charades and take a good look at what is happening around us. Babies found in dustbins, rivers, toilets and so on. It’s almost impossible to read the papers without being shaken by yet another horrific story that victimizes the most innocent of our kind. 

Please don’t tell me that you still think that sex education is not necessary. Take a look at the crèches in our cities and tell me you believe that sex education is going to be the culprit that will corrupt young minds and instigate them to indulge it what our culture finds to be downright filthy. Yes I am  talking about “Pre-marital sex!’. If you think our generation is yet to be corrupted think again! 

I am not here to say that pre-marital sex is right. So if you are a conservative person, hear me well. I DO NOT BELIEVE THAT PRE-MARITAL SEX IS RIGHT FOR US MALAYSIANS! Now that I have cleared that please take a second to hear me out, without mentally countering my points in your head before coming to the end of this article.

Let’s use some common logic here. The probability of someone getting pregnant is high in scenarios with unprotected sex. Nevertheless not all unprotected sex leads to pregnancies. So if there are these many “buang bayi” cases how many actually are engaging in pre-marital sex. Dear parents you do the math. 

If well-educated on safe sex and the consequences of getting pregnant (to the baby, them and their family) how many of them would have prevented pregnancies? I know what you are thinking. If we teach them to do it right then they will do it without getting caught. It’s like teaching someone how to cheat in an exam. Yes they pass their papers, and no one will ever know that they cheated. The consequences, they unjustly pass exams but in this scenario we lose newborn babies if we don’t teach. The greatest treasure that is life is losing its value.

The question should no longer be whether to have sex education is schools or not to but what kind of sex education are we going to implement. The horror that spread across your face when you hear sex education can easily be dispelled if you understand that I don’t mean teach them the Kaama Sutra or how to have sex. Teach them what is sex? What do they mean by safe sex? Gross them out with STD’s and the consequences of pregnancy. Tell about the innocent children that are harmed because of the lapse of judgment by their young parents. (Please refrain saying sex is painful; It may harm them psychological even when they are married)Everything put in the proper manner can be less curiosity awakening and more informative. 

Whether we like it or not even the most principled and innocent youngster may face a situation that may lead to a so called “passionate encounter”.  This information may provide useful in deterring them for indulging in the act or even if they do, there may be a possibility that they might actually do it safely. 

If your fear is that you’re absolutely innocent (meaning knows nothing of sex, I don’t mean indulging) and uncorrupted child might become contaminated because of some sluts out there. NEWSFALSH: it takes more than the knowledge of sex to actually indulge in it. So many other factors play a role; guilt, principle, upbringing, values, common sense and so on. So maybe we could increase he emphasis on moral education, as not being a subject where you memorize the exact definition and meaning of every value , but actually make sure the understand and practice as many of them *hint hint*.

Another thing I would like to emphasize is the role of parents, guardians, and older siblings. I obtained most of my sex ed from romance novels given by sisters, media and movies and so on. My friend once said “everyone needs sex darling” the irony is she is a virgin and doesn’t believe in pre-marital sex! So just because we know or we are vocal doesn’t mean we get it on! Have the trust that your child is like that too. Please remind them that you trust them, don’t pamper or give too much of freedom. Curfews and rules are there for a reason, stop giving in to their every whim but at the same time don’t be overbearing. 

Don’t get me wrong but many of these girls who got pregnant and stayed pregnant for almost nine months and then delivered, how is it that their family, teachers and relations missed this? A nine month pregnant girl staring back at you! How did they miss it? Pay attention to what your children are doing and saying. Most school flings are to fill voids created by the lack of attention at home. What they yearn for is you; your time and your attention. To put it simply; its 10.40pm where are your children now?

Just a note: no matter what they teach in school parents are our first teachers. If you want your children to share your values, you have to instill it in them since Day 1. If they do make this mistake, don’t shun and judge; if we learn to be a bit more forgiving maybe they won’t feel so scared that they decide to dump their child. Those who are pro pre-marital sex may say that if we accept this change in our culture then they need not be so scared. NEWSFLASH: I live in a place where it is ok to get pregnant at 16 and trust me if it is okay then their life tends to skip form 16 to 26 overnight. In a time where, from illiteracy we now want everyone to have a degree, this puts them at a massive disadvantage. 

There is a lot to ponder regarding this but getting to the point; If they are not going to be educated about it at home the I am saying YES to SEX EDUCATION but it must be a well drawn syllabus (preferably a one of class not a subject) and those who teach it must know what to emphasize on and plan their presentation keeping in mind it’s not a conversation about sex with your buddies and not to put their personal ideologies in their heads.  Pre-marital sex after a certain age tends to be a personal choice but for those in school I don’t believe it’s a choice they should have to decide on just yet.

Stinking up the place!

Is it that time of year again? The time where everyone takes out their pens to scratch each other’s eyeballs out. The back stabbing, gossiping, bitching is once aging shamelessly rearing its head and it seems like everyone is being dragged down by it. 

(f you have are living in a small community somwhere especially if you are student overseas, you might be able to relate to this. Actually if you are even in any organization it may make sense.)

People fail to realize that we are all traveling in the same boat so if you fart we all can have to deal with the odor. In other words; say if you don’t like the course we sail, talk to the captain. Instead if you run up the pole and change the direction of the sails in an aim to sabotage, you too will be the one who becomes directionless.

Don’t be afraid to share knowledge! Why is it that no one can’t be happy when a another excels, Why is it that some who excel cannot bring themselves to guide others in fear they will become more prominent than them. UNDESTAND ONE THING CLEARLY! If you used to be the one who to dropped the anchor, and now you navigate the ship, teach others how to drop the anchor. (There is also no harm in grooming them to navigate the ship) My mum says even if roll on the beach not every grain of sand will stick onto you. Only what is yours will stick, so stop worrying someone will steal of your plate! 

Not everything is what it seems! If someone mops the decks, and after years they are still mopping the decks don’t belittle them. You may think it’s because they are not capable of doing more. You may be sorely wrong, they probably dint get the opportunity that you did. Another reason may be they now how important mopping the decks is to keep this ship clean and keep everyone healthy! A job many may undervalue and overlook but they know better.

 

 

Don’t be stingy with your compliments! Many think compliments are should be reserved. Well to me compliments equal appreciation and encouragement. Give it where possible (you lose nothing by doing it), one nice word can go a long way. It can encourage and inspire another, making their day much more productive. If someone does a great job at something please remember it benefits everyone.  Nevertheless don’t play loose with them either, then they no longer hold any value. (There may some leaders who don't pull their weight and other must pick up the slack,but i think we are all smart enough to tell the difference)

Criticize and question! It gives rise to the betterment of what we have (But be able to accept the fact that sometimes you might be wrong). Don’t let anyone silence you when you have a point. SO, CRITICIZE and QUESTION but do it to the face of whom it concerns not at their backs! Gossiping, backstabbing and talking behind people will not be useful to anyone. Neither do confrontations, it leaves us with a one big public mess. No one likes it when you dry your dirty linen in public. So express your concerns diplomatically, behind closed doors. If we let a lack of unity dictate our lives nothing will advance, nothing will change and you will drag everyone (including the innocent bystanders) with you down a bottomless pit of frustration and disappointment. 

To sum it up; weather we sink or sail is up to everyone in the ship, so act wisely.

I am not perfect. I could be charged guilty of many of the crimes I stated above. But no one is perfect. All I have to say is we try to do and be the best we can but at times we falter. To err is human, but to make a living out of it is just downright dysfunctional. Sorry just needed to vent ;)

Lists!!!

I am trying to think how do i put this into words. My thoughts seems to be firing in all directions and i cant seem to compose it into a hopefully short and sweet blog post.

Well a friend and i had a heart to heart a few days back. We shared our insecurities and we basically had a good chat. She is at a point in life that many of us have been or will be at someday. She was trying o figure out what she wanted to do in life. My first suggestion, why dont you make a list. It sounded like the most logical thing to suggest. I make lists, that is me! you ask me to do something i plan it out and i start always start by making a list. She told me she is hesitant about making a list as if its on her list she must do it and fears she will put something she might not really want. I have a friend who cant sleep until he finished all his tasks for the day. I used to give him a hard time as i could not comprehend it. That statement from her was an eye opening moment for me indeed.

I wrote lists all my life, sometimes I do all that was listed at times, sometimes i didn't. But that is the thing, a list is nothing bit a numbered row of statements unless you actually do them. Only then they give you a sense of purpose an direction (which was why you wrote it in the first place). She inspired me, i wrote a list today like i always do. What is the difference you ask? I did everything on my list today, because i was determined to do so. A few hiccups along the way (that inevitably altered some tasks) but it was a good day =) muchos gracias '