Give me your keys!

If you decide to drink to the point of drunk then you are an idiot; if ride or drive after that you are just a waste of oxygen. Socializing used to be about good conversation but now it’s about getting a bunch of people together, snapping a gazillion photos and uploading them in nanoseconds so the whole world can see what an amazing life you lead. A few rounds of beer never hurt anyone. Yes you the one thinking what I just typed, I wish I could chain you to the emergency department desk and let you witness double digits of geniuses who thought like you. 

Men, sorry let me correct that men and women have a tendency to show off how much they drink. In this great modern and civilized society apparently how many beers you can down and how much you can drink and stay sober is the true definition of greatness. Frankly, I feel sorry for that notion you have as I can see you with beautiful pot belly that would go well with your half gone liver and that reputation of yours of being an alcoholic that you so proudly parade.

All said and done that is just my opinion it’s not written in stone that what Vicknesha thinks is the command of the universe. So if you want to get drunk and experience the amazing high and enjoy your post blackout updates from your less drunk friends than good for you, it’s not my problem and I don’t really care.

This is when your problem becomes mine....

When you are so stoned that you lose your sense of judgment then it becomes my problem. “Hey bro I will ride home” “Are you sure man you look pissed drunk” “Fucker I am just tipsy trust me I can ride the bike” Okay bro...That is what one donkey told the other donkey before they decided to take someone else’s life. 

Alcohol, people say heart disease, cancer and diabetes are the main killers in the human population. I would like to point out that the main cause of premature and unpredictable deaths is this three syllable word AL-CO-HOL. Does that mean that everyone that drinks is bound to kill someone?

They say you are allowed to start drinking at the age of 18 as they “believe” that you are rendered to be mature enough to make decisions for yourself, the sad part it is after this admittance to adulthood that they tend to make the stupidest decision; such as to DRINK & DRIVE!

If you meet into an accident think of the consequences...injuries that will put your plans on hold, disabilities that make you dependent for life and more often than not death, where you can escape the repercussions of your actions and let your aging parents who spent every ounce of their life looking after you and all those whom you love to suffer because of your lack of judgement. I quote a father who told his son who said “Doctor that hurts!!” “What do you expect with an unbalance mind”. Seeing day in day out parents, relatives, siblings walking into the emergency department distraught and trying hard to stay strong for this person they love whom seems to be the most selfish person in the room makes me wonder does it take something so grave to happen for people to value themselves?

This is the least of it; ripped jaws, broken bones (faces and legs), broken heads and much more is the least of your worries when you have blood on your hands. Most drunkards who meet in accidents have no recollection of what happened, what they hit or who they hit. When you see someone, especially a child lying unconscious fighting to live because you were too hosed to realise she was crossing the road or you we not aware enough when you overtook that bike....can you live with that?

So think, growing up is about taking responsibility for your actions...every choice you make is on you! So be wise. Never drink and drive. It’s not hard to ask someone to drive you home if your drunk or as your bartender to call you a cab. If you have pre-planned to get stoned do it a friends place, spend the night. For friends who have friends who are treading closely to full blown drunk, grab their keys...when they say “Where the fuck is my keys” Say “I don’t know? Anything to stop them driving. Don’t hate yourself for not acting after your friend has to live with guilt.

The most well balanced and rational people cannot guarantee to make good choices under the influence of alcohol. You might be a responsible person, but the nature of alcohol is the opposite, so be cautious.

Where a helmet no matter where you go. We have a tendency of living in the fake comfort that “It won’t happen to me”. The probability of you lying on that operating table is the same as anyone else.  Don’t put yourself in a predicament where you regret your complacency for life. Don’t take things for granted, you have no right to harm yourself let alone someone else! 

Think.....being an adult isn’t all about getting all excess to movies, clubs, booze or even getting the right to vote. It’s about taking responsibility for your actions and being responsible for yourself, those you love and society. 

Your ego is not worth a LIFE!

Who The Hell Are You???

I miss being me..so much of what i used to identify myself with has suddenly been shelved away somewhere in a dark corner of an abandoned library,  making way to more “important and pressing needs of the day”, more “adult” behavior as society calls it. Plainly to think it’s just an excuse we created to stop being who we are... and become who we are supposed to be.

 The hard part is that we who claimed to never succumb to this inevitable situation, have fallen prey without even realizing that we have and with all are might, energy and sanity (what’s left of it) are giving every breath we have to uphold this rational decision that we made to pursue our careers and put everything on hold...everything meaning life..Everything; meaning who we are.

 All these things that we claim to be less important for the time being are so far away from who we are today that when we look back, it feels so distant like nothing but a whisk that never really existed and no matter how hard you try you can’t seem to find in you what you have put away... they become no longer shelved but rather outdated dreams a part of us that has been lost...sometimes leaving us unfulfilled...making us forget who we always wanted to be...

Who are doctors? People who help heal people who are ill (to put it plainly) How does society picture us? as people who have no time of day for anything other than their job and studying and yet even if there was time we just simply don’t make the effort to do all those things that kinder my spirit anymore. I do love my job, everything about it but there are other things I love as well and it seems unfair that I have to lose all those aspects that made me feel alive because I choose to say that I love my job. 

Why don’t I write, why don’t I draw or paint, why don’t I take long walks, why don’t I dance, why don’t i play the piano, why don’t listen to music or watch new movies...why why why?? It’s not falling short of what I have dreamed that torments me, its failing to fulfil the needs of my soul and losing pieces of who I am little by little, ignorant of the fact that if I put away an interest or a habit I like for now because I cant make time for it then when I want to rekindle it it’s no longer relevant!! Am I ready to say goodbye to all I was?? Is there nothing in my past that i wish naught to carry to my future? Has the sum existence of my being been reduced to Vicknesha Pirathayini a medical student in RSUP Sanglah, Denpasar, Bali?? Why am I waiting to live my dream? Why did I let go of the ones I was already living...so many whys and so little answers....

It’s not that I chase a pass that was, its that I can’t help but realise I have lost pieces of me that I wish I had no. ..and yet i seek among the shadows of yesterday what i hope to yield in my tomorrow once again..

Fish and chips and Her Royal Highness!

I went out this morning with my friend to tend to an urgent craving for pancakes. Once I reached the restaurant named “Obrigado” (I dare say it’s more of a cafe and hangout spot then a restaurant) all of sudden I wanted to eat real food. Pancake lovers please don’t take offense, what I had in mind was a hearty meal (but if it makes you feel better; I did attack some buttery, maple syrup soaked fluffy pancakes after my meal).

What happened next you ask? An extremely long period of waiting, followed by me being presented with a tiny wok the size of my hand in diameter. In it was the most crunchy yet succulent piece of Dori fish, lying on a bed of salty French fries with a little mayonnaise on top of it. Yes in case you are wondering, it did taste as good as it sounds.

I looked at the mayo on this deliciously looking golden crumbed fish and I realised it just won’t do. I requested the kind waiter to give MORE! So he did.

It all started out very dignified. With my fork in my left hand and my knife in my right I cut through the fish with easy and dipped in the mayonnaise and dabbed a little tomato ketchup. Yes yes I know you are cursing me right now, but please take it as ethical journalism, I want you to feel the incident  *evil laugh at the thought of the people who want to kill me right now*

Well as I proceeded to indulge in this scrumptious cuisine I realized I added more ketchup and mayo and my fork was on my right and my knife on my left. I was so happily enjoying myself and then it dawned on me. Kate Middleton must really love Prince William. Like most teens I had a crush on the heir to be which died of as I grew up and came to my sense that behind all the pomp and ceremony he is just another guy who has quirks and flaws and is certainly not as perfect as I imagine him to be.

Getting back to the story. Kate can’t eat like how I did. Feet up on the sofa, enjoying every bite, holding my cutlery in the wrong hands, bathing my food it with mayo and ketchup without a care in the world. To give that up! (No title or perk could compare)! My, that girl must love this boy. That is when I realised what I wanted, a guy who can cook? Yes that too but someone I can love so much that I am willing to live outside my comfort zone for the rest of my life. Maybe not food, that is a tough one but other things I guess.

Mythical as it may be but it happens.  I hope I am one of those lucky ones or maybe luckier, I might find someone who is willing to live out of his comfort zone for me.

Angst

If you do something in the eye of the public, you put it out there for the world to see. So don’t get upset if your indiscretions are the topic of discussion because word travels. Faster in some places than others but nevertheless it does. 

If you are a not-live to please, it’s my life, you live only once, I live my life my way, I do what makes me happy kind of person then you should also be a I don’t give a damn what others think kind of person. I believe everyone needs a little of all the above although they are not the mottos of my life. 

Getting back to what I was saying earlier, yes you have to be an I don’t give a damn about what they think kind of person to be like that. Why? Because you don’t enjoy what you do and you won’t be entirely happy doing what you love (whatever that maybe) if you toil over the opinions of others. 

You will fluster about their spoken opinions (to your face and behind your back), their unspoken thoughts and their Morse code status updates. Literally every moment is misery where you feel like the world is waging war on you and everyone is being harsh, unreasonable, judgemental and critical. 

When at fact most of it is just their opinion. Yes, yes I can hear you thinking out loud, what gives them the right to be opinionated about my life. IT’S MY LIFE! Come on let’s be realistic here, touch your heart and tell me that you have never ever had an opinion about someone else??? May it be the clothes they wear, the way they wear the makeup, the way the talk? Don’t be blatant liars; admit that you have done that. “They wore something so hideous than too bad they should know people are going to talk about them.” (They would have liked it that’s why they wore it even if it’s an eyesore to you). That is the reality. If you think it’s not the same thing think again.

Someone posts a YouTube video for their friends to see, it gets posted on facebook and travels a gazillion miles a second. Not everyone has nice things to say (I am one of them) and some just don’t know the meaning of the phrase “If you have got nothing nice to say say nothing at all”. Next thing you know the girl who danced at her wedding in a saree gets bombarded. She enjoyed herself no doubt. People who loved her thought it was a good effort and cheered for her. But all these insignificant people are mocking it? “She posted it on YouTube she asked for it” “We have a right to say what we think”. Likewise it applies to you too. They saw what happened and they have an opinion (an unnecessary one especially for the story tellers who feel obligated to make everything sound like a ZEE TV serial). But they have one.

Hmmm. Just realized I finished typing a PAGE! I never inherited the gift of writing short and sweet, something I envy my friend Sabrina for. *smiles cheekily at the thought of her reaction when she reads this*

Anyways, the gist of it is this. If you walked naked in your bedroom and someone says something about it’s an intrusion of your privacy. If you walk naked on the street its public nuisance and you can get yourself arrested. That is the point, whatever you do in public its up for the public to “dissect and analyze”. If you care about what they think (if it angers you then you care), don’t do it. If you love what you’re doing and it’s right by you and your loved ones, than stop caring. If what you do makes you happy not just when you are with your bunch and have to cover macho but also when you are alone and in retrospect, don’t worry about what the world says. Be happy and live right by you. Measure yourself with you own scale but be open to what others say. 

When you can’t differentiate a concern of a friend from a judgement of a foe that is when (i feel) you know that something is amiss, not with them but with you. A friend’s harshness stems for concern and can be dispelled when you explain you love what you do and it makes you happy and that you are safe. Give them that much, because they do care about you that much more. 

Personally I can’t be an I don’t care person, not because I am a people pleaser but I have many people I care for who set high standards (which I always fall short of). I guess I just love them too much that when I see the novelty of some things it just means nothing in comparison to their regard for me. But that is me. There is no right and wrong in life. I ain’t perfect but just a little life lesson I learnt the hard way “Life is carefree when you live it for yourself but meaningful when you live for others”. 

Live it the way you choose but live it for the right reason and only you can decide what is right and not for yourself. Aites, that’s it from, till next time ;)

You ask me "Why?" I ask you "Why not?"

Sex education! It’s a rather taboo topic where we come from. You will get side glances if you dare publicly approach this topic. But let’s stop the game of charades and take a good look at what is happening around us. Babies found in dustbins, rivers, toilets and so on. It’s almost impossible to read the papers without being shaken by yet another horrific story that victimizes the most innocent of our kind. 

Please don’t tell me that you still think that sex education is not necessary. Take a look at the crèches in our cities and tell me you believe that sex education is going to be the culprit that will corrupt young minds and instigate them to indulge it what our culture finds to be downright filthy. Yes I am  talking about “Pre-marital sex!’. If you think our generation is yet to be corrupted think again! 

I am not here to say that pre-marital sex is right. So if you are a conservative person, hear me well. I DO NOT BELIEVE THAT PRE-MARITAL SEX IS RIGHT FOR US MALAYSIANS! Now that I have cleared that please take a second to hear me out, without mentally countering my points in your head before coming to the end of this article.

Let’s use some common logic here. The probability of someone getting pregnant is high in scenarios with unprotected sex. Nevertheless not all unprotected sex leads to pregnancies. So if there are these many “buang bayi” cases how many actually are engaging in pre-marital sex. Dear parents you do the math. 

If well-educated on safe sex and the consequences of getting pregnant (to the baby, them and their family) how many of them would have prevented pregnancies? I know what you are thinking. If we teach them to do it right then they will do it without getting caught. It’s like teaching someone how to cheat in an exam. Yes they pass their papers, and no one will ever know that they cheated. The consequences, they unjustly pass exams but in this scenario we lose newborn babies if we don’t teach. The greatest treasure that is life is losing its value.

The question should no longer be whether to have sex education is schools or not to but what kind of sex education are we going to implement. The horror that spread across your face when you hear sex education can easily be dispelled if you understand that I don’t mean teach them the Kaama Sutra or how to have sex. Teach them what is sex? What do they mean by safe sex? Gross them out with STD’s and the consequences of pregnancy. Tell about the innocent children that are harmed because of the lapse of judgment by their young parents. (Please refrain saying sex is painful; It may harm them psychological even when they are married)Everything put in the proper manner can be less curiosity awakening and more informative. 

Whether we like it or not even the most principled and innocent youngster may face a situation that may lead to a so called “passionate encounter”.  This information may provide useful in deterring them for indulging in the act or even if they do, there may be a possibility that they might actually do it safely. 

If your fear is that you’re absolutely innocent (meaning knows nothing of sex, I don’t mean indulging) and uncorrupted child might become contaminated because of some sluts out there. NEWSFALSH: it takes more than the knowledge of sex to actually indulge in it. So many other factors play a role; guilt, principle, upbringing, values, common sense and so on. So maybe we could increase he emphasis on moral education, as not being a subject where you memorize the exact definition and meaning of every value , but actually make sure the understand and practice as many of them *hint hint*.

Another thing I would like to emphasize is the role of parents, guardians, and older siblings. I obtained most of my sex ed from romance novels given by sisters, media and movies and so on. My friend once said “everyone needs sex darling” the irony is she is a virgin and doesn’t believe in pre-marital sex! So just because we know or we are vocal doesn’t mean we get it on! Have the trust that your child is like that too. Please remind them that you trust them, don’t pamper or give too much of freedom. Curfews and rules are there for a reason, stop giving in to their every whim but at the same time don’t be overbearing. 

Don’t get me wrong but many of these girls who got pregnant and stayed pregnant for almost nine months and then delivered, how is it that their family, teachers and relations missed this? A nine month pregnant girl staring back at you! How did they miss it? Pay attention to what your children are doing and saying. Most school flings are to fill voids created by the lack of attention at home. What they yearn for is you; your time and your attention. To put it simply; its 10.40pm where are your children now?

Just a note: no matter what they teach in school parents are our first teachers. If you want your children to share your values, you have to instill it in them since Day 1. If they do make this mistake, don’t shun and judge; if we learn to be a bit more forgiving maybe they won’t feel so scared that they decide to dump their child. Those who are pro pre-marital sex may say that if we accept this change in our culture then they need not be so scared. NEWSFLASH: I live in a place where it is ok to get pregnant at 16 and trust me if it is okay then their life tends to skip form 16 to 26 overnight. In a time where, from illiteracy we now want everyone to have a degree, this puts them at a massive disadvantage. 

There is a lot to ponder regarding this but getting to the point; If they are not going to be educated about it at home the I am saying YES to SEX EDUCATION but it must be a well drawn syllabus (preferably a one of class not a subject) and those who teach it must know what to emphasize on and plan their presentation keeping in mind it’s not a conversation about sex with your buddies and not to put their personal ideologies in their heads.  Pre-marital sex after a certain age tends to be a personal choice but for those in school I don’t believe it’s a choice they should have to decide on just yet.

Stinking up the place!

Is it that time of year again? The time where everyone takes out their pens to scratch each other’s eyeballs out. The back stabbing, gossiping, bitching is once aging shamelessly rearing its head and it seems like everyone is being dragged down by it. 

(f you have are living in a small community somwhere especially if you are student overseas, you might be able to relate to this. Actually if you are even in any organization it may make sense.)

People fail to realize that we are all traveling in the same boat so if you fart we all can have to deal with the odor. In other words; say if you don’t like the course we sail, talk to the captain. Instead if you run up the pole and change the direction of the sails in an aim to sabotage, you too will be the one who becomes directionless.

Don’t be afraid to share knowledge! Why is it that no one can’t be happy when a another excels, Why is it that some who excel cannot bring themselves to guide others in fear they will become more prominent than them. UNDESTAND ONE THING CLEARLY! If you used to be the one who to dropped the anchor, and now you navigate the ship, teach others how to drop the anchor. (There is also no harm in grooming them to navigate the ship) My mum says even if roll on the beach not every grain of sand will stick onto you. Only what is yours will stick, so stop worrying someone will steal of your plate! 

Not everything is what it seems! If someone mops the decks, and after years they are still mopping the decks don’t belittle them. You may think it’s because they are not capable of doing more. You may be sorely wrong, they probably dint get the opportunity that you did. Another reason may be they now how important mopping the decks is to keep this ship clean and keep everyone healthy! A job many may undervalue and overlook but they know better.

 

 

Don’t be stingy with your compliments! Many think compliments are should be reserved. Well to me compliments equal appreciation and encouragement. Give it where possible (you lose nothing by doing it), one nice word can go a long way. It can encourage and inspire another, making their day much more productive. If someone does a great job at something please remember it benefits everyone.  Nevertheless don’t play loose with them either, then they no longer hold any value. (There may some leaders who don't pull their weight and other must pick up the slack,but i think we are all smart enough to tell the difference)

Criticize and question! It gives rise to the betterment of what we have (But be able to accept the fact that sometimes you might be wrong). Don’t let anyone silence you when you have a point. SO, CRITICIZE and QUESTION but do it to the face of whom it concerns not at their backs! Gossiping, backstabbing and talking behind people will not be useful to anyone. Neither do confrontations, it leaves us with a one big public mess. No one likes it when you dry your dirty linen in public. So express your concerns diplomatically, behind closed doors. If we let a lack of unity dictate our lives nothing will advance, nothing will change and you will drag everyone (including the innocent bystanders) with you down a bottomless pit of frustration and disappointment. 

To sum it up; weather we sink or sail is up to everyone in the ship, so act wisely.

I am not perfect. I could be charged guilty of many of the crimes I stated above. But no one is perfect. All I have to say is we try to do and be the best we can but at times we falter. To err is human, but to make a living out of it is just downright dysfunctional. Sorry just needed to vent ;)

Lists!!!

I am trying to think how do i put this into words. My thoughts seems to be firing in all directions and i cant seem to compose it into a hopefully short and sweet blog post.

Well a friend and i had a heart to heart a few days back. We shared our insecurities and we basically had a good chat. She is at a point in life that many of us have been or will be at someday. She was trying o figure out what she wanted to do in life. My first suggestion, why dont you make a list. It sounded like the most logical thing to suggest. I make lists, that is me! you ask me to do something i plan it out and i start always start by making a list. She told me she is hesitant about making a list as if its on her list she must do it and fears she will put something she might not really want. I have a friend who cant sleep until he finished all his tasks for the day. I used to give him a hard time as i could not comprehend it. That statement from her was an eye opening moment for me indeed.

I wrote lists all my life, sometimes I do all that was listed at times, sometimes i didn't. But that is the thing, a list is nothing bit a numbered row of statements unless you actually do them. Only then they give you a sense of purpose an direction (which was why you wrote it in the first place). She inspired me, i wrote a list today like i always do. What is the difference you ask? I did everything on my list today, because i was determined to do so. A few hiccups along the way (that inevitably altered some tasks) but it was a good day =) muchos gracias '